Ricklassify

The country’s industrial capital, Mumbai, is called so because it provides hundreds of ways to the hundreds of people coming in, to earn some moolah!!

Having stayed in this city of dreams for the past 20 years I have realized that the number of auto rickshaws have been on a consistent increase. I typically am a very lazy person so progress in this sector helped me. I am a regular user of this service. Well this is also, one of the reasons why I can write a post on my observations over the years about the different species of auto-drivers.

The different categories in which auto-drivers have been classified (by me of course) are as follows:

(Typical, ain’t it?)

Type 1:

These are the ones who make up for the majority. They are least bothered about anything. They will drop you off where you want, never interfere unnecessarily, generally quite. And on a personal note, I find them to be the best kinds.

Type 2:

They are the sweet ones. Ah! Correction… the OVER SWEET ones. Man!! A person can so get onto your nerves just by being sweet is unimaginable. They will ask you how you want to go. And yes they will also make it a point to advise you about the routes you should take for different places. For instance, I was travelling to college from home and this auto guy must have driven me there twice earlier (may be). He suggested me to hire an auto (I did say I am lazy, so wouldn’t type the whole term) on monthly basis to drive me to college. He also incidentally happened to drive me home from classes one day at around 10 pm, and so came his next advice, to hire an auto on a monthly basis if it gets so late everyday. I surely appreciate their concern but it does tend to irritate.

Type 3:

They are the over careful ones. Once you are seated you get a weird feeling of awkward serenity. They will start slow, maintain that speed, careful not to get into the potholes (wouldn’t mind zigzagging on the street). You try your best to sit upright but fail miserably. And if you a re getting late by any chance, you will hell not reach on time.

Type 4:

These are the kind that will make you feel as if you have been punished for hiring their vehicle. You are under constant fear of being stopped by some patrolling official. And I have sub-divided them into two-

a) The ones who drive fast, very fast and you try to keep all your things safe, fearing they mite just get blown off. They are not that scary but yes one does get a good dose of fear.

b) Now, now. These are the scariest of all and you will definitely regret having taken that auto. They drive fast plus somehow manage to get their wheels into almost all the potholes on the road. They will get into the smallest space available. This time too you cling on to your belongings not because+ they might get blown off but because you are actually scared of hitting a tree or big vehicle or getting blown off yourself. The ride is no less than that of a roller coaster.

Well this is all that my studies can reveal so far. And this classification is a result of a ride from home to college in an auto with Type 3 driver.

HAPPY and GAY !!

Sorry for being late in posting new crap here on Crapologists. Its all because both of us crapologists - me and Garima - were quite busy with our lives. Garima was busy with stuffs as usual - journal writings, college, etc - and also her Farewell. Garima-ji, Farewell toh ab ho gaya, we expect a post from you SOOOOOON !!! And I was busy with work, office, factory, being home alone, college and a skit !

Yes, a skit. Although, I'm not an avid participant in social and cultural activities, I participated in the skit 'coz of a friend. He was going to participate, but couldn't due to some health problems. He's still recuperating. This is when I jumped into the bandwagon !

Here are two videos of the act. The quality isn't that good, but it isn't that bad either.

The audience cheered us. We rocked the stage full on ! The audience gave us a standing ovation ! Yet, we lost the top position to another act, which was adjudged 'the best' only on the basis of their concept. No doubt their concept was good, but they had no dance ! But judges ko kaun samjhaaye??? Khair, jo hota hai achhe ke liye hi hota hai.... Such is life !

Marwaris = Smart !

While surfing through some random blogs, I came across this story of a Marwari salesman. I, being a Marwari myself, couldn't refrain myself from reading it. I loved it sooooo much. Read it and know how good Marwaris are at business !

A keen immigrant Indian lad applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown departmental store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India", replied the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said,

"You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,

"How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss.

"No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d better be doing better than just one sale. By the way how much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand three hundred and thirty four pounds", said the young Marwari.

"What? How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he’d be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer. I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No." answered the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Your weekend is screwed anyway; you might as well go fishing."

So, this is what being Marwari is... I'm proud to be a Marwari ! Kasam se....

Live-in Relationships vs Marriage - Your Take

Hey folks ! Hiiii.....

Helping someone doesn't fall in the category of crap. Still, I love to help. Not that I'm giving away my tag of a 'Crapologist', its just that helping someone makes me feel good.

A friend Manali wanted my help in her research study. She wanted a few responses to a short-n-sweet questionnaire. Five questions - all yes/no types. They won't take more than five minutes. All you guys have to do is just leave your answers alongwith your Name (optional), Age (mandatory), Sex (mandatory), Location (mandatory, you may not be specific; but be general) in the form of a comment. The topic of her research is "LIVE –IN RELATIONSHIPS v/s MARRIAGE"

Link:’’http://lifestyle.indianetzone.com/relationship/1/live-in_relationships.html

Questionnaire for the research study 

1. Do u think that live-in relationships are preferred over marriage?
a) Yes
b) No 

2. Are live-in relationships proved to be successful than marriage?
a) Yes
b) No  

3. Do you think that Live-in relationships should be made legal supporting an agreement so that no one can cheat?
a) Yes
b) No 

4. Do u believe in old traditional form of marriage rather than the modern concept of live-in relationship?
a) Yes
b) No 

5. Do u think that live-in relationship is like a traditional marriage with no cohabitation and no sex before marriage?
a) Yes
b) No

That's it !! Thanks for helping !

A kiss forever!! -Part 3 of 3

PART 3 OF 3

The Truth...

He answered in his sweet musical voice...

“Nothing went wrong. I wanted to go away from there. I wanted to change my life. I was missing an important part of my life.”
I felt a hard pinch and my stomach churned.
“It isn’t convincing enough…” I muttered, “Still, who is the bride?” I asked.
He smirked and then laughed and he didn’t laugh alone. Only then did I notice that all our friends were present there. What cheaters I thought. I waited as he was about to answer. I wanted to know what was so funny.

“The bride is YOU!!”
I was shocked… I felt weak at knees… I stumbled and he took me in his arms.
“I missed you… I wanted to stay with you… every morning when I wake up, the first thing I want to do is see you…”
“But you said you didn’t want to be there anymore?” I interrupted.
He answered with a warm smile.
“Yes I didn’t want to be there in that place anymore. I wanted to come here and get married to you. You wanted it here right?”
I was starting to believe it. I finally gained balance and hugged him hard. I cursed him for putting me through all that.
I realized that I was dressed in rags compared to all others who looked like movie stars. He probably read my expression and said, “Don’t worry; we have a change for you. Everything is ready. You just have to go and come back and be mine forever.”
Those of whom I thought as cheaters and had sided with him were the ones who had help arrange all this. I was taken to the hotel room where a hair-dresser, a make-up artist and my stylist were all ready to work on me. I pitied the hair dresser as my hair were bad than the worst, they required a lot of mending. My face was still better. With just a scrub and a cleanser I looked reasonably fresh.
I took a hot water bath and then sat on the recliner and rested my head on the pillow. I slept while the three ladies played their role to make me look special for the most special day in my life… for the most special person of my life. I had something to eat while the hair dresser still tried to straighten the strands.
When all was done I dressed in my white satin wedding gown and with flowers in my hand I entered the hall. My best friend was my best man today who escorted me through the aisle. The priest chanted the usual and announced us wedded which was to be followed by a kiss which would seal the relationship and before our lips could meet he whispered in my ear…
“It’s the day when you are dressed like an angel… today you look the most beautiful, alluring all the words which describe the beauty of a woman. I want to kiss you till the end of life.”

A kiss forever- Part 2 of 3

PART 2 OF 3

The Big Blow

I dialed his number for the umpteenth time and...
“Hello?” came his sweet voice finally. I somehow managed a faint greeting which I could not hear but I was positive he recognized me. After 5 years of togetherness he could not have not recognized me. I asked him where he was and what was all this about but I did not get a reply. It was only then that I realized that all these questions were in my head and I needed to find my voice. I asked and then remained stunned when he said that he was getting married in St. Paul’s church tomorrow. St. Paul’s church!! How could I forget that place? It was there where I wanted to marry him and he knew it. How mean of him to do this to me… to leave me like that and get married to someone else in the very place where I wanted to take our relationship to the next level… where we would have created a permanent and stronger bond. It was the most brutal way of breaking someone’s heart.
NO!! I wasn’t letting this happen without contenting myself with a reasonable excuse of being left like that… not until he convinced me that I deserved it (I knew this would never happen… because I would never let him go to someone else).
I decided to go to St. Paul’s straightaway. It meant a 6 hour drive. I then realized how far I had come in search of him. I took a cab and next thing I knew was that I was standing right in front of the St. Paul’s church. I wasn’t embarrassed in going in, in 3 days old attire, a haystack for my hair and bruises on my body and my clothes brown with dirt. Knowing him and his contacts and rich and famous that he was, this should’ve been a grand affair. Holy shit!! If this was a grand affair, this was being planned for quite long now. I shook my head and thought to myself that it didn’t matter. I just strode across the road and stomped past the doors of the church and bang!! He was standing right in front of me in the best suit ever… looking handsome. My anguish seemed to fade away. I gasped and then reminded myself what I was here for.
I ran to him and asked what was all this about and why? What had gone wrong? He answered in his sweet musical voice.

Well even we are waiting for his answer!!

To be continued on thursday 19 th november!!

A kiss forever! - Part 1 of 3

Hello everybody!! Following is a short story i had managed during lectures. It's my first try at something like this.

PART 1OF 3

The Search..

‘Stand with me, hold me in your arms’, were the words stuck in my throat as voice refused to come out. All I could manage was a feeble scream that did not hit my ear drums. All I knew and all my mind could decipher amidst all confusion were hi last words.
I shuddered at the thought and yet again someone pressed the rewind button and then play… For a moment everything was hazy and then again those words. My eyes burned and my head spun. I could not find my hands to wipe the tears on my cheeks. I lost the sense of the world. I could not feel the pain when the door closed on my fingers and hot blood gushing from my nails gave me warmth as my body … my soul was cold. My stomach let out loud groans which had nothing to do with the hunger of not having eaten for the past two days!!
Yes two days had passed, I realized, since the phone rang and I had foreseen my world coming crashing down. I wanted to stand right below it and catch it before the glass shattered. Someone rewinded the tape to that point when I received a call at 3.30 am on Monday. Now starts the flashback.
I picked up the phone and put it on my ear, half cursing the person who had called up and then my eyes turned twice their normal size... my ears alert like a dog’s and my heart racing with no competitor. I heard the words,

“this is my last call to u before I go. I don’t want to be there anymore. Good bye and take care.”
I sat still for 15 minutes trying to unscramble what I heard. A shiver ran down my spine. I understood the last had cum but why? I deserved a reason and more than that I needed to save this. I jumped out of the bed and changed into…whatever (it didn’t really matter). I took all the money I had because I didn’t know where was the end of the search that will now begin.
I took a cab and headed towards the house behind the old mill…found nothing. I searched in the office… no relief to my eyes yet. I took the cab to the pub we often visited but of no avail. The cabbie refused to go any further as we almost circled across the town... I jumped out of the cab and half ran towards… well I didn’t know where. I reached station and took a train and got down at the last stop. I ran… my heart raced faster. What if I could not find what I came looking for? I decided I dint have time to think and straight went to the art gallery where his exhibitions were usually held. I slipped and tripped many times. It was raining cats and dogs and I had forgotten my overcoat. The only benefit of the down pour was that, people who thought that I had been bit by a mad dog could not see that I was crying, the fact being that even I did not realize it earlier.
I reached the gallery but it didn’t do any good. I searched in all the malls, departmental stores that I passed by. I also visited all the exhibitions scheduled for that day in the town hoping to see him in his 3-piece Raymond’s suit attending to the visitors. But, well as I said I was just hoping… the bubble kept bursting and a new one would ooze out every time I headed towards a new destination. Well I could have set a record and got myself entered into the Guiness Book for the optimism I showed.
I used cabs to move across the town. Some cabbies refused as I was all wet and some might have thought that I was some crazy woman who escaped from an asylum, given my hairdo. As if I cared!!
I don’t know why I was running around, looking for something (someone) who still had an option of rejecting me and after that, all of this running, starving and crying would be a waste. But I knew one thing, whatever may be the reason I was sure and positive about not letting my world come to hit a dead end. I’ll do whatever it takes.
Reality hit me hard when I realized an officer was calling on me for I was standing in the middle of the street when the signal was green. I apologized and my hunt began. I was already getting depressed as another day was coming to an end with no success. I shook my head and encouraged my self by thinking that I still had time. I went to the restaurants we often dined in, the cafes and the music stores that we usually visited, but no… I still had to try harder. Then something dawned upon me and I looked for my cell phone. I dialed his number for the umpteenth time and...

(Part2)will be continued on tuesday,17th november!!