ANNOUNCEMENT

Dear readers,


Due to non-posting issues, Crapologists is being merged with Good For Nothin'... Please CLICK HERE to visit GFN !

We-The Makers

All of us are artists. We are the makers. Without wasting much space and time i would like to put forth some of our marvelous works. Great men/women composed songs and we altered the lyrics. We have a song for each situation and if not, well, each one of us is capable of modifying the existing ones to suit our interests. Take a look.

1)Original lyrics:

teri pyaari pyaari soorat ko kisiki nazar na lage,
chashmebadoor...
dekha na karo tum aaina kahin khud ki nazar na kage,
chashmebadoor...



Modified version:
teri kaal kaali soorat se kisiko darr na lage,
mukh mein badbu...
dekha na karo tum aaina kahin khud ko hi darr na lage,
mukh mein badbu...


2)Original lyrics:
dil ke jharokhe mein tujhko bithakar,
yaadon ko teri main dulhan banakar,
rakhunga main dil ke paas,
mat ho meri jaan udaas...

Modified version:
kachre ki balti mein tujhko bithakar,
upar se plastic ka cover lagakar,
rakhunga gutter ke paas,
usmein se aayei baas...

We dint even spare the the nursery rhymes.

1)Original rhyme:
Jack and Jill,
went up the hill,
to fetch a pail pf water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after.

Modified version:
Jack and Jill
went up the hill,
to fetch a pail of water,
god knows what they did up there
and came down with a daughter.

2)Original rhyme:
Johnny Johnny??
yes papa??
eating sugar??
no papa!!
telling lies??
no papa!!
open your mouth...
Ha Ha Ha!!

Modified version:( in marvari)
Kalu Kalu??
Ke baapu!!
khod khaadi??
ni baapu!!
jhooth boliyo??
ni baapu!!
baako faad...
Ha Ha Ha!!

P.S: The readers are invited to add any more such innovations.

Ricklassify

The country’s industrial capital, Mumbai, is called so because it provides hundreds of ways to the hundreds of people coming in, to earn some moolah!!

Having stayed in this city of dreams for the past 20 years I have realized that the number of auto rickshaws have been on a consistent increase. I typically am a very lazy person so progress in this sector helped me. I am a regular user of this service. Well this is also, one of the reasons why I can write a post on my observations over the years about the different species of auto-drivers.

The different categories in which auto-drivers have been classified (by me of course) are as follows:

(Typical, ain’t it?)

Type 1:

These are the ones who make up for the majority. They are least bothered about anything. They will drop you off where you want, never interfere unnecessarily, generally quite. And on a personal note, I find them to be the best kinds.

Type 2:

They are the sweet ones. Ah! Correction… the OVER SWEET ones. Man!! A person can so get onto your nerves just by being sweet is unimaginable. They will ask you how you want to go. And yes they will also make it a point to advise you about the routes you should take for different places. For instance, I was travelling to college from home and this auto guy must have driven me there twice earlier (may be). He suggested me to hire an auto (I did say I am lazy, so wouldn’t type the whole term) on monthly basis to drive me to college. He also incidentally happened to drive me home from classes one day at around 10 pm, and so came his next advice, to hire an auto on a monthly basis if it gets so late everyday. I surely appreciate their concern but it does tend to irritate.

Type 3:

They are the over careful ones. Once you are seated you get a weird feeling of awkward serenity. They will start slow, maintain that speed, careful not to get into the potholes (wouldn’t mind zigzagging on the street). You try your best to sit upright but fail miserably. And if you a re getting late by any chance, you will hell not reach on time.

Type 4:

These are the kind that will make you feel as if you have been punished for hiring their vehicle. You are under constant fear of being stopped by some patrolling official. And I have sub-divided them into two-

a) The ones who drive fast, very fast and you try to keep all your things safe, fearing they mite just get blown off. They are not that scary but yes one does get a good dose of fear.

b) Now, now. These are the scariest of all and you will definitely regret having taken that auto. They drive fast plus somehow manage to get their wheels into almost all the potholes on the road. They will get into the smallest space available. This time too you cling on to your belongings not because+ they might get blown off but because you are actually scared of hitting a tree or big vehicle or getting blown off yourself. The ride is no less than that of a roller coaster.

Well this is all that my studies can reveal so far. And this classification is a result of a ride from home to college in an auto with Type 3 driver.

Whoaa !! Its almost 2010 !!

Hey guys and gals,

New year is at the doorstep. It knocks in any moment. So, its time, before we open the door, to make some promises to ourselves.

Although, my side of the story is always the same and even this year is no exception as i stick by my principle of 'No Resolutions'.

But, to add to this one, my co-blogger Garima and I have made a common resolution. We have decided to rectify one mistake of ours and make this blog what it is meant for - CRAP!!

Well, as we promised in our inaugural post that this blog is going to be fun and full of shit (to be read as :: crap, as it appears in English movie subtitles, although they speak 'shit'), but due to some unexplainable and some really silly reasons, this couldn't happen. Its difficult to think funny in intense moments. Anyways some smart person has found out a way for us by saying 'Promises are meant to be broken....' ;) lolzzz!!

Jokes apart, on a serious note (seriously serious), we will now make efforts to keep up with our promise. Enough of rule breaking.

Hopefully, all our resolutions materialize this year and if not then well we have another new year coming up too!! Tension nahi lene ka monaco khaneka!!

Lastly, I wish all of us a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Keep crapping!!

HAPPY and GAY !!

Sorry for being late in posting new crap here on Crapologists. Its all because both of us crapologists - me and Garima - were quite busy with our lives. Garima was busy with stuffs as usual - journal writings, college, etc - and also her Farewell. Garima-ji, Farewell toh ab ho gaya, we expect a post from you SOOOOOON !!! And I was busy with work, office, factory, being home alone, college and a skit !

Yes, a skit. Although, I'm not an avid participant in social and cultural activities, I participated in the skit 'coz of a friend. He was going to participate, but couldn't due to some health problems. He's still recuperating. This is when I jumped into the bandwagon !

Here are two videos of the act. The quality isn't that good, but it isn't that bad either.

The audience cheered us. We rocked the stage full on ! The audience gave us a standing ovation ! Yet, we lost the top position to another act, which was adjudged 'the best' only on the basis of their concept. No doubt their concept was good, but they had no dance ! But judges ko kaun samjhaaye??? Khair, jo hota hai achhe ke liye hi hota hai.... Such is life !